I am now a medical transcriptionist.

6 months left.

And then the prison term will be for life.

Even convicts probably have hope in the form of parole.

You never get used to prison. No matter how long you stay there. I wish I were an institutionalized citizen in servitude. I would not know any better. I had be content. That's the thing about keeping someone locked up too long. Their thought processes become so atrophied they lose sense of what it is to be free. The cell becomes home. The prison becomes paradise. At that point the prisoners stop suffering.

I do not have that recourse either. I will never be institutionalized. I will never adapt to this situation. My incarceration in this den will always fester the demon of discontent. More and more it seems that this is not going to alter in this life. The only thing that will ever institutionalize me is death.

I wish it would hurry along. I do wish it would.

I have no words to express the hatred for the situation. Right now it is ridiculously easy to empathize with those who break the law to get what they want. Ethics, morals, conscience, right - they are all blatant lies spread by those who have everything and cower at the thought of losing their things to those who do not have them. Eventually the state of not-having-ness is going to kill you in misery any way. So why not butcher the so called virtues and enjoy the short span of life.

That makes perfect sense. The only thing that does make sense in this universe.

The difference between a dream and a nightmare is negligible. The worst nightmares are dreams that do not die once you are awake.

Biggest lesson learned in 2008: It is better to be a good liar than to be completely honest. Honesty does not get you anywhere except into trouble.

6 months of running around trying to get a student visa.

Only to be rejected.

Nice start.